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So, when I was asked if I wanted to try out Berkley International, a personal dating service for the slightly more discerning patron, it seemed like a nice change of pace.

Essentially, if Tinder is Clapham High Street; Berkeley International is Cannes.

But what is going to make a potential hook-up banish you into the abyss of the left swipe?

And maybe that’s something plebs like me can learn from.

According to a new study by Tinder, wearing glasses in your profile photos will reduce your chances of a right swipe. Instead of having specs appeal, wearing glasses could reduce the chances of finding ‘true love’ by 12 per cent, which is a pretty substantial percentage for something we had never really considered before.

But why would this make people think twice about swiping right? If you’re happily coupled up, you’ve probably helped your single girlfriends swipe through the reams of desirable – and not so desirable – potential dates.

Both evenings ended at a civilised hour with a peck on the cheek – after which, Jo calls me with feedback – which is excruciating.

I feel like I’m in the dating Olympics, and I’m going to get a row of zeroes from a panel of judges who will criticise my terrible small talk and the fact that I went to the toilet six times in three hours (tiny bladder).

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  1. I don’t know if I’m exactly qualified to do this, because my response rate is about 15%, but I consider myself above average emotional intelligence and understand, at least in theory, what women would like in first message. And like anything in my life, I probably approach sending messages on online with a little too much “engineering”.